best halloween films

31 Days of Halloween! Day 8: Cheap Thrills

Posted on by Manda Panda

Standard spoiler warning, blah blah blah… oh yeah and probably a language warning too…

Okay, folks! Hands down, without a doubt, 100%, no b.s.–this was the BEST scary movie I’ve seen this Halloween.

A wealthy couple who are apparently bored out of their minds (quite literally, they’re fucking nutcases) have bought everything they’ve ever wanted and now? They have to “get creative.” It’s the rich wife’s birthday. He wants to give her a great present.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks, a man (Craig Daniels) is drinking.  He’s upset because he has lost his job after just having received an eviction notice.  He has a wife and 15-month-old baby boy to support. What in the world is he going to do?

Well, Craig (Pat Healy) happens to run into his old high school buddy Vince (Ethan Embry) at this bar.  Next thing you know, Vince is chatting up this rich couple (Violet played by Sara Paxton and Colin played by David Koechner).  This couple has apparently decided that an exciting birthday celebration should involve daring these guys to do crazier and crazier things while offering them cash rewards.

It starts simple: “Fifty bucks to the first person to drink a shot” and ramps up from there. From relieving themselves in Colin’s neighbor’s house to eating an animal to cutting off a finger, these guys are constantly competing against each other for the chance to get more money.

First, the cast. They are absolutely superb together.  They’re all somewhat familiar without being mega-stars.  They seem more like real people than movie stars.  Their vibe on screen works fantastically. They all actually seem to get along incredibly well–and I’ll bet they have that dynamic in real life as well.

I read a review that made a bold assertion: This was the best performance David Koechner has ever given. I am going to emphatically agree. He is hilarious, we all know this. From Talladega Nights to Anchorman and everything in between, he has done great work.  He continues to crack us up in this movie as well, but it goes deeper.  He gives a fullness to his character in this movie. He plays his part in such a way that leads me to believe he had more creative flexibility over his character in this movie than he has had in some others.  He took the character, he ran with the character and believe me when I say it paid off.  This was truly his first masterpiece and I’m betting we see much more substance from him moving forward.

The director and writers are not yet on the map, but this movie will surely land them on it with a big, gold star. The awards this movie has won and the nominations that continue to pour in are no surprise.  This movie deserves every last award.

In case you couldn’t tell, I very highly recommend this movie.  It is available for free with your Amazon Prime membership (through Amazon Prime video) or is available for rent through them as well.  It would be worth every penny to rent it.

There are, warning, some grotesque scenes in this movie.  But nothing that, say, Quentin Tarantino hasn’t done. In fact, Tarantino has done worse (ahem, Hostel).  And on that note, I’ll never again watch another unrated movie in my life very specifically because Tarantino’s Hostel has continued to traumatize me to this day. But I digress…

Bottom line: See it.  It’s hilarious. It’s emotion-provoking. It’s scary. It’s crazy.  It’s HORRIFYING. It’s not what you would think of as a typical Halloween movie.  No zombies, werewolves, or other supernaturals.  Just plain old bat-shit-crazy human beings.

Up next, (and completely polar opposite this movie!!!): George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. Again, available on Amazon Prime video (my God, they should be paying me for all the plugs).

31 Days of Halloween! Day 7: House on Haunted Hill

Posted on by Manda Panda

Warning… spoiler alert… yadda yadda

I was very bored with House on Haunted Hill (1959). I decied to make a late minute switch as I really want to do a review each night. Redbox happened to have Cop Car–which is classified as a thriller and therefore definitely qualifies as an acceptable substitute. So, I rented it.

In hindsight, maybe I should have stuck with House on Haunted Hill.  Maybe it would have improved? Maybe not…

Cop Car got pretty decent reviews, but I’m still puzzled over why!  It was one of those movies that intentionally cuts into, and then out of, people’s lives instead of actually telling a story. Some movies have had great success with this type of set-up. A Perfect World (1993, Kevin Costner, directed by–and co-starring Clint Eastwood) is the best example that comes to mind and is a movie that I endorse whole-heartedly.

Cop Car, on the other hand, could flop out of movie history forever and I wouldn’t shed even one tiny tear. If I had to sum up this movie in one word: POINTLESS.

I could literally see this movie being throw together as a bar one night over (too many) drinks. From there, they apparently just decided they’d wing it. Throw in a predictable and cliched piece of plot here and there and, voila!, utter masterpiece of crap complete! It was like a group of 12 year old kids with ADHD slapped this together in their treehouse and then begged Kevin Bacon to pretty please star in their movie. ‘It’ll be awwwweeessooommmme!’ Ugh.

I don’t know why it surprises me so much that I disliked this movie. The only factor may be that I love Kevin Bacon and he has recently impressed me substantially with his work in the television hit ‘The Following.’ Jon Watts, on the other hand, has never written or directed anything that so much as caught my attention. How is he a director? I’m sure I’d have to read up on a few things but, seriously, I could do a better job.

I’m so pissed that I can’t get back the time I wasted watching this half-cocked garbage. I mean, the holes in the plot are so deep, you could break your neck falling into one. How the hell did the sheriff get into cocaine trafficking? Who the fuck did he have in the trunk?! Why did the boys run away? Why in the hell did the first bullet ricochet off the window? How in the fuck does a bullet ricochet off of standard glass?! (Standard glass established by front passenger window being shot out during gun fight between random dude from cop’s trunk and sheriff). Was it purely to kill one of the boys? I mean, truly, what was the point of this movie?!

Done.

Reviewing AHS next… look for that one.

Tonight’s adventure (God, let’s hope. I need a good movie!!!): Cheap Thrills–available for free on Amazon Prime video. Please, oh please, oh please be worth watching! Seriously needing some redemption my in faith of horror movies over here…

31 Days of Halloween! Day 6: Fido

Posted on by Manda Panda

Spoiler Alert!

Fido is a charming movie about a boy and his pet… ZOMBIE. What?! I know. Pet zombie.

It’s set in the good ol’ fifties.  A major corporation called Zomcon fought the zombie apocalypse and figured out how to control zombies, turning them into the equivalent of slaves through use of clever electronic collars.

The movie combines cute, charming, and creepy. Odd ingredients for a horror film, but the collaboration works well. The cleverness and creativity of setting it in such a ‘goodie goodie’ time period while also maintaining a spot in the horror genre is absolute genius. The innovative nature of the film lumps it into groups of classics such as Pleasantville.

The zombie–Fido–is treated similarly to a beloved canine companion.  The little boy’s name is Timmy and at one point, Timmy is in trouble.  There’s a scene where Fido gets help from Timmy’s mom:

“What’s wrong, boy? Is Timmy in trouble” Ha ha, nice, zombie Lassie…

Timmy, of course, has enemies in the form of two scouts from his school who are training to work for Zomcon.

The oddity of the zombie control collars is that apparently, sometimes, they stop working. So, Zomcon has a head of security who oversees outbreaks.  Instead of having retirement plans, they have funeral savings plans! Apparently, it’s a privilege to be buried instead of being turned into a zombie after death.

Part way through the movie, Fido’s collar goes off–thanks to being pounded on by the walker of a crazy old bat named Mrs. Henderson. Fido eats her. Timmy buries the woman’s body in the cemetery after killing her for a second time.  By then, though, she’d bitten several other people, creating a zombie frenzy in the town’s park.

A bit Fido’s collar spontaneously goes off again. He still doesn’t eat Timmy or Timmy’s mom–alluding to the fact that maybe the zombie has developed feelings? Hmm…

Another oddity: as Timmy’s mom becomes more infatuated with the zombie (ugh, I know) the more liberated she seems to become.  By 2/3 through the movie, she is defying her husband and suggesting he ‘get his own beer.’ Obviously they intended to show a correlation between owning a zombie and women exerting their independence (??) and maybe I’m just dense, but I didn’t get the connection.

Duhn-duhn-duhn! Police discover Timmy’s ball near the crime scene where they discovered Mrs. Henderson’s body! Fido gets taken away in the Zomcon police wagon! The boy lost his zombie! Zomcon covers it up by releasing a news report saying the bullies from Timmy’s school had killed her and then burned themselves alive in a shed outside of the park.

The family, though, just isn’t the same without their Fido.

This is, hands down, in the genre of way-out-there alternate realities.  At the same time, it has made it into my list of favorite innovative story lines. While I probably won’t watch it on a Halloween list in the future, I would watch this movie again.

Up next on the list! House on Haunted Hill (1959 version!) (which is available on Amazon Prime video for free–as is Fido!)

31 Days of Halloween! Day 5: The People Under the Stairs

Posted on by Manda Panda

Warning! Spoiler Alert!

This movie got halfway decent reviews. It was above a five but below a seven. It came out when I was 10 and I saw it as soon as it came on TV. Back then it absolutely horrified me! The only thing worse, for me, than someone breaking into your house and killing you would be to keep you trapped in the house and torture you past your breaking point. Horrific.

The premise: a twisted man and woman are slum lords, bible fanatics, and baby kidnappers. A stereotypical black crimnal, his stereotypical white trash partner in crime, and his girlfriend/friend’s little brother break into the house in an attempt to rid the slumlords of their massive overhaul of treasures. The thing they didn’t count on? These people being the most insane brother and sister on the planet–that’s right, brother and sister.

Written and directed by Wes Craven during his hay day, this movie doesn’t disappoint! Even after having not seen it for almost fifteen years, I’m still really glad I own the movie. The first thirty minutes or so contains some scary stuff, then the humor kicks in. They say ‘burn in hell’ so often, we decided to make a drinking game out of it come Halloween night! Every time they said ‘may he/she/they/it/whatever burn in hell’ it got a little funnier, until we were cracking up each time. I am amazed by how ballsy the boy is and how brave their (stolen) daughter ends up being. Though I know they aren’t real, I always feel so bad for those poor boys trapped in their basement being forced to become cannibals to survive, after having been tortured–body parts cut off and whatnot. I’m always happy that that rotten ass dog of theirs ended up being, ironically, stabbed by the wicked, insane brother. I’m glad that the people of the “ghetto” got their revenge and some of their money back. And I’m glad those twisted siblings got their just desserts. May they burn in hell.

Up next: FIDO! A story of a boy and his pet dog zombie! Review coming tomorrow.