Warning… spoiler alert… yadda yadda
I was very bored with House on Haunted Hill (1959). I decied to make a late minute switch as I really want to do a review each night. Redbox happened to have Cop Car–which is classified as a thriller and therefore definitely qualifies as an acceptable substitute. So, I rented it.
In hindsight, maybe I should have stuck with House on Haunted Hill. Maybe it would have improved? Maybe not…
Cop Car got pretty decent reviews, but I’m still puzzled over why! It was one of those movies that intentionally cuts into, and then out of, people’s lives instead of actually telling a story. Some movies have had great success with this type of set-up. A Perfect World (1993, Kevin Costner, directed by–and co-starring Clint Eastwood) is the best example that comes to mind and is a movie that I endorse whole-heartedly.
Cop Car, on the other hand, could flop out of movie history forever and I wouldn’t shed even one tiny tear. If I had to sum up this movie in one word: POINTLESS.
I could literally see this movie being throw together as a bar one night over (too many) drinks. From there, they apparently just decided they’d wing it. Throw in a predictable and cliched piece of plot here and there and, voila!, utter masterpiece of crap complete! It was like a group of 12 year old kids with ADHD slapped this together in their treehouse and then begged Kevin Bacon to pretty please star in their movie. ‘It’ll be awwwweeessooommmme!’ Ugh.
I don’t know why it surprises me so much that I disliked this movie. The only factor may be that I love Kevin Bacon and he has recently impressed me substantially with his work in the television hit ‘The Following.’ Jon Watts, on the other hand, has never written or directed anything that so much as caught my attention. How is he a director? I’m sure I’d have to read up on a few things but, seriously, I could do a better job.
I’m so pissed that I can’t get back the time I wasted watching this half-cocked garbage. I mean, the holes in the plot are so deep, you could break your neck falling into one. How the hell did the sheriff get into cocaine trafficking? Who the fuck did he have in the trunk?! Why did the boys run away? Why in the hell did the first bullet ricochet off the window? How in the fuck does a bullet ricochet off of standard glass?! (Standard glass established by front passenger window being shot out during gun fight between random dude from cop’s trunk and sheriff). Was it purely to kill one of the boys? I mean, truly, what was the point of this movie?!
Done.
Reviewing AHS next… look for that one.
Tonight’s adventure (God, let’s hope. I need a good movie!!!): Cheap Thrills–available for free on Amazon Prime video. Please, oh please, oh please be worth watching! Seriously needing some redemption my in faith of horror movies over here…
Mad Movie Maven 